I remembered Gerrard's irrational and childish behavior in those days, his unstable behavior. I said that I think most married lives are like stories, they have a suspension of disbelief. That is, evolution does not cause them to continue, even avoid ...
I remembered Gerrard's irrational and childish behavior in those days, his unstable behavior. I said that I think most married lives are like stories, they have a suspension of disbelief. That is, evolution does not cause them to continue, even avoiding certain facts does not cause them to continue. I said that I am sure that during those events, he himself was one of those facts. There was no choice but to ignore his feelings, otherwise, the story would continue. I said, although now that I remember those days, I see the same omissions, the same things that were denied or voluntarily forgotten in the service of telling the story, they became more and more and dominated the story moment by moment. These abandonments, like the things I left in his house, changed their meaning during all these years, and accepting them was not always easy. For example, my indifference toward Gerard's suffering, which was not so important in those days, but later on, I felt more and more guilty. In pursuit of my future, I pushed many things away from me, but now my future has gone away from me, and the strength of its shadow has increased so much that I thought I would be punished for a sin that I have not yet realized. I said that I may never know what to deny and what to preserve.
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